Oh this Role/Reboot article is such a beautiful summation of why I think so many women rankle when they hear men say “Women can get laid any time they want.” First of all, even that statement isn’t true. Secondly, just read Emily Heist Moss’s fantastic breakdown of what “getting laid” might even mean and why there is such a disparity between many women and many men in their motivations for casual sex (or not having it).
I’ve read many men saying, that any sex is good sex, likening the experience of any sex at all to grabbing even a moldy crust of bread as one is starving. If that’s the case, I feel bad that sex is something that is so limited to all of us. But described that way, it simply feels like being used for release, much as Moss describes here:
“Sure, I might be able to find some guy to come home with me if all I really want is to let someone else get off on top of me, but what’s the likelihood I’m going to enjoy myself? What’s the likelihood he’s going to be invested in my pleasure?”
That there are people willing to be satisfied with that description of sex as good sex, is beyond me. Perhaps if casual sex was seen more as a mutually pleasurable dinner date (with fun and feasting for all) rather than the woman as a plate of food for a hungry fella (and yeah, that’s pretty damn heteronormative), women would have more sex casually altogether.