Vulnerability Hangover

I know, I know. I’m on a Brene Brown kick. I have the zeal of the newly converted and so I’m quoting her a lot these days. She’s worth quoting.

As you know I’ve posted about the concert in celebration of my father and his music. It was a really wonderful event. My children loved it, loved the music, and meeting and seeing family. We even visited his graveside on Friday on our way home.

All through the experience I felt really lifted and contained. Nervous, but safe, and most importantly open to the experience.

That openness is a relatively new thing for me when it comes to my father. And while I’m not going to unpack all that right now (childhood grief, etc, lots of other stuff), right here, suffice it today that Thursday was a huge deal and I’m really satisfied with how I experienced it.

But Sunday, I wound up kind of…well, crumpling a little. And then a lot. And it was all just internal stuff and I realized it was probably part of what Brene Brown calls a vulnerability hangover.

“Coined by research professor Dr Brené Brown in her “shame-resilience curriculum” Connections, a vulnerability hangover is “the feeling that sweeps over us after we feel the need to connect… and we share something deeply meaningful. Minutes, hours, or days later, we begin to feel regret sweep over us like a warm wave of nausea.”

I don’t suppose I’m feeling regret or shame, just exposed and connected to things that are not always easy to be connected to. One of the ways to ease the friction of such an experience is to keep sharing and keep connecting, yes? So that’s what I’m going to do, but I do feel a little woogy today. And that’s ok.

What do you do when you are feeling this way? Do you hunker down and in or open up more?

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Vulnerability Hangover

  1. I make soup. I pick one that takes a long time, and I do each step meticulously and with reverence. I have a task to ease the “wooginess”, and my house smells amazing.

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